Yes I'm Back, Again, With more Ramblings from the Dark Side

Well it's been a while since I sat down to blog, partially due to laziness, and partially due to being busy. I can honestly say it's not laziness like I can't get anything done, it's laziness that I'm too tired to come up with coherent thoughts on what to say. So today's thoughts may be a bit randomized. (Yup, I totally made that word up)

I took my eldest to see Sesame Street Live the other day. We had tons of fun watching the characters sing, dance, and do amazing things. However, I learned that the people who put this show on must be rich.... I mean it cost $10.00 to buy my son an Elmo balloon that he had to have. However, at the end of the show, he forgot about it because I hid it under his seat. You'd think the damn thing was made out of gold or a fu#$@$@ antique. Nope, just a simple expensive balloon. Somethings that I choose no to buy though were the $15 Elmo light up toy that you could probably find at a dollar store, the $15 t-shirt that he will not wear because he's demanding the "truck shirt" for the 50th day in a row (daycare must think we own only one shirt these days), or the $5.00 nachos and cheese because let's face it, I'm dairy free so he better eat the same as me. After Sesame Street Live, we ventured to a new dimension...Chuck-E-Cheese. Wow, there were so many kids running wild there. You'd think they were raised by wolves. However, I ran down a completely innocent child just for stepping behind me. See, I tried to get a good picture of my child driving a car game and I had to step back about a foot, well a two foot tall child was obviously squeezing his tiny butt behind me to go somewhere and well the place he went was on the floor where I proceeded to step on him. Thank god he wasn't hurt and his parents weren't around or were too busy to come yell at me for my carelessness. I would've given them a piece of my mind too because the signage at the venue clearly state "Do not leave your kids unattended." This squished kiddo was obviously unattended. Whatever, he lived.

Elmo costs way tooooooo  much money........

Some other fun news is that El Porker Bambino is a freaking giant. Yes, a giant. The kid is well over 20 pounds and killing my back. I can't wait for the independent stage where he can walk all on his own and I won't have to pick his big butt up all the time. He's killing my back. In addition, you'd think he would be sleeping through this night as he is 2 weeks shy of turning 7 months old. Nope, the kid is nocturnal. He's  up all hours of the night and wants to nurse. I can't deny him that luxury either because he wakes up smiling and talking away. It would be like denying a soft furry puppy a pet on their back....it just doesn't happen so we continue nursing the nights away.

El Porker Bambino and I (squinting because my back hurts)

On a more serious note, I feel deeply saddened today for some former students of mine. Two kids that are dear to my heart, both lost a father within the past 3 weeks. I've been in that boat sadly before and my heart breaks for them. No one can understand the pain of loosing a parent as a child unless you have been in those shoes yourself. It's like loosing a role model, a best friend, a protector. While, I can't take their pain away, I can urge those of you reading this to hug your family tightly each day and let them know how much you love them. You never know when it will be your last day to get the opportunity to do so. You can never give those around you too much love.

Work, Work, All Day Long!

I'm back...........I've always wanted to say that in my best Chucky voice, but you can't hear me on this damn blog. Too bad, the impression was pretty creepy.
Anyways, what I meant is I'm back to writing. I had a few weepy days there because impending doom was upon me. I was returning to that place that provides me with a paycheck which I despise going to when I'd rather hug, kiss, and cuddle my munchkins. It's not so much that I dislike what I do for a living, but I love my kids more than I love my job. Any mother can understand that.
Well it's been quite interesting returning. I didn't realize how much what I did affected those around me. When I say those around me, I do not just mean those 5 feet and under (I teach 5th grade)-I mean the bigger kids-my peers. The most common comment I've heard as of late is " Wow, I can totally tell you are back because your kids are behaving much better." Well, that doesn't say anything for the job my intern did, but it does say a lot for my own personal expectations. I expect my kids to be on task, to learn, and to be their best at all times of the day. I am constantly eagle-eyeing them when they thing no one is looking. They can't play the "I didn't say that," or "I didn't do that" card with this mama because I see it all. Heck, I improved that skill when I birthed thing 2. See having 1 thing is hard, but having 2 is so difficult that you grow eight arms and 5 eyes. I'm not even kidding folks! I can see my child pick up an object so minuscule that it should be microscopic across a twenty foot room and haul @ss over there before it goes into his mouth. This skill definitely helps improve my watch on the students. They learn that I've got eyes in the back of my head so they best "check themselves before they wreck themselves."
Not only am I on top of my kids behaviors, but I'm trying my hardest to make sure they know I care. I was almost in tears yesterday when one of my five new students (yes I got five new students in three months) said and I quote, "Wow, Mrs. Ellis you truly care about all your kids, huh?" That made my day because this lovely child didn't know me from the dirt on her shoes, but my words and actions in five straight hours showed her who I am. I would not be who I am though if I didn't have the experiences I've had. Being a mom has truly made me a better teacher!!

Thing 1 laughing when he closes himself in the front door/storm door. Silly boy!

Another day, no Dollars

My little boys

Today I went into school to see my 5th grade classroom that I've been away from for the past three months. I immediately rearranged the seating chart, furniture, and tidied up areas that were a hot mess. Soon I sat down to figure out the upcoming lesson plans and where we are going curriculum wise. While it felt nice to return to preparation of doing what I love, it was also quite overwhelming. In addition, it was great to feel missed by staff, students, and teachers alike; but my heart hurts for the parting ways of my infant and I. I miss his daily coos and smiles, our staring sessions, and his cute pouty lip. In addition, he turned 13 weeks old today and is 3 months old tomorrow. My toddler is turning 21 months old on Friday. I'm almost morning their babyhoods. It seems like each day slips away like sand through an hour glass. One second I'm speaking nonsense at my children and the next second they are communicating back, running around, and bringing me pure joy. Yes, there are so many days when I am mad at the world, short-fused, and lacking tons of patience because my sleep is deprived, but  I would not change being a mommy to these two beautiful souls for anything else in the world.

Closer to no sleep

I've concluded that I learn new lessons daily on the joys of being a mother. Something I learned recently from my child's daycare is that if you wrap each dirty diaper in a bag-that it will cut down on the smell. There are small, powder-fresh, scented bags that cut down on the wretched smell of poop. If you and your significant other are smart enough to remember to use such bags, they will certainly make the odor in your child's room less rancid. So if you don't have them now, go out and by them by the thousands!!
Between yesterday and today, I've cleaned out my closet. This allowed me to find all the missing pairs to my shoes that had even the slightest heal that I could not wear while pregnant. Those were all hiding under my clothes that I have not been able to fit into for the past two years since conceiving and delivering my chunky monkeys. This left me kinda sad because I had some cute things that I would love to put back on, but sadly they would not fit over my darn muffin top or my rack. So today I had to go out in the midst of a monsoon and get a few shirts to wear to work. I felt better after getting home and realizing that now I can officially match for three whole days at work. Go me!

El Porker Bambino's First Day at School

Mommy and El Porker Bambino

So the world didn't stop, explode, or come to an end today when I took my wee little fellow to school with his older brother. He was calm going in and screaming going out! Actually he was a hot mess when he left today but I can attribute that to him having a bottle warmed and mom talking way too much. See I love the daycare that my children attend. I feel as though all the people that work there are great to talk and vent to and they always ask me all about my day. I can have had a rough day and somehow they make me feel all the much better. They are not only sweet to me, but they truly adore my children.

El Porker checking out one of his teachers

Today I made myself welcome in the infant room with my 15.4 pound porker. He did not shed one tear while I was there. In fact, he hung out, checked out all the ladies, did his thing and was very low key. I gave him 6 ounces of boob juice/soy formula, burped him a ton, and had him interacting with the ladies. It was nice that he was so comfortable and easy going. He even took a nap in his crib after googly eyeing his mobile for a few minutes and fading out to the nature sounds it produced as the animals chased each other in circles.  All-in-all he made me comfortable to leave him in the arms of the lovely ladies that will be giving him his daily dose of sugar.
Now onto a random quote and thought before I go to bed. This evening I was watching Honey Boo Boo and I had to laugh at a line she spewed about her new pet chicken-Nugget. She said "Nugget poops wherever she well pleases and so do I." I have to think that at this age she should be potty trained and not pooping everywhere like my kids who are under two still do. Guhhhhrrrrroooosss!!

When Good Things go Bad

I love baby products as much as the next mommy. They are great to keep the bambino calm, help him grow, and teach him many things. However, I do not like when they break or worse ruin things like my washing machine rim.


The purple washing machine eater

A few weeks ago, I washed my Bright Stars Tummy Mat that I have had since my toddler was an infant. He used to look so cute and little on it. Then came the El Porker Bambino, so I pulled out that same mat and he looked extremely adorable on it too. In fact, they would lay on it together and listen to the attached stuffed bee make fun noises and sing songs to them. It was like a bonding experience. That was until it went into the washing machine in one piece and emerged torn to shreds with it's purple outer edging left all over the rim of my washing machine. Yes that purple shi& ate the outer rim of my washing machine and it is still there to prove it.


The purple washing machine eater
Well you better believe I sent that company a nice email praising the mat that I used to own that very day. Well those jack @sses did not return said email even with the promise of a two business day response. So I gave them two weeks and decided to send them another email with a very negative tone. Guess what....they called me back in like ten minutes. After a conversation where the lady tried to explain to me that the mat was out of its one year warranty period, I got real with her. I explained what my washing machine now looked like and she changed her tune right away. She promised to send me out a new mat and that I should receive it within 5 business days. Well it's been 6 business days and I'm having an internal debate today....should I call like a steroid raging man or use a nicer approach? I WANT MY REPLACEMENT MAT!!!!

Shredded mat

Pay It Forward

I believe you should pay it forward everyday in any little way that you can. One way I like to pay it forward is with advice. So today this will be about my advice to others and things that I've done recently for others that have made me happy as well :)
Today's piece of advice is for new mommies. If you are a new mommy, you get so much unsolicited advice from people who know everything about anything. Well here is what I know that is actually helpful. If you are planning on having a second child ever.....then keep one of each size of diapers. This will help you know if you need to move up a size in diapers before you end up with massive poopslopsions up the @ss crack of your child and his or her clothes. It is much better to be prepared for the inevitable by avoiding this situation altogether, so if the diaper is getting a little snug, don't just try and finish that pack of diapers because you will regret it. Save them for your second monster.
I am thankful for the stranger who answered my Facebook ad for a size 3 diaper. She gave me two different kinds and we had a thirty minute conversation about how certain diapers smell very chemically so you can't tell if your child has taken a poop without the infamous sniff test. Well, personally, I don't like that smell nor do I like the sniff test. Her generosity though has helped me realize that I need to get a bigger size diaper now before my kid and his big butt explodes. Thank you stranger for helping me today!! :)
Another piece of advice is when your child has really horrible smelling dumps, you need to eliminate that odor as best you can. Even if you own an elite diaper container that promises to be the best out there, you will still have smell. To minimize that crap (ha ha no pun intended), try to tie the nasty, dirty, digusting diapers up in scented plastic bags before you shove them in the diaper container or your trashcan.
For my first pay it forward act,  I recently sent candy to a friend whose husband decided to throw out the rest of her Valentine's candy. Cardinal rule for husbands-never throw out anything without our permission. Just because something has been laying around for a long amount of time doesn't mean we don't need it. Chances are, we have just misplaced it and need you to point us in the right direction. After all, some of us are mothers and as a mother, we are busy doing five thousand things at one time. Therefore, help us find our shi@ and do not think you are helping by eliminating our messes.
My next pay it forward has been that I am donating my breast milk to a complete stranger.  My husband told me  I was absolutely not allowed to put out a classified ad on Craigslist because of all the nuts out there, so I found the next best medium....Facebook. Sounds strange, huh? Not really because my milk is like liquid gold. It can get a sick child better and keep another child from getting sick at the same time. It's also something that you can get for free if you keep hydrated and pump, pump, pump it up!! Well this liquid gold is hard for many to produce for various reasons...adoption, stress, lack of supply, etc. I've had no such hardships except that I produce a lot and when I began pumping for my El Porker Bambino, I was eating my favorite things....cheese and yogurt. Those were pretty much my staple foods to snack on. Well even though they were (and still are) my favorite things ever-they are my child's least favorite things (behind the Zantac he takes). See these yummy goodness items make him scream like a banshee. So in an effort to stop the madness,  I've got to get rid of the 78 ounces of breast milk that have been taking over my freezer for the past 2 and 1/2 months. Well what does one do with breast milk that can't be used.....put it on Facebook of course!
So those are my pay it forwards as of late. I can think of many more, but I'm going to go eat my humble pie now. I genuinely hope you can pay it forward too!